The Life and Times of Sir Ferris Bueller

( video;private )

[begin public video feed]

Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, aliens, spacemen, vampires, werewolves, and other sentient entities of any variety who I may have not specifically mentioned - I assure you it's no attempt to make a personal slight, and I in no way intend to exclude any citizen of our smorgasbord metropolis.

I have an announcement.

Starting this week, I, Ferris Bueller, am pleased to offer a brand new service to the City -

Ferris Bueller's Official City Day Expeditions Unlimited

[He grins charmingly, pausing for a moment, then continues.]

We'll be operating out of the Welcome Center thanks to the most gracious Penny, and I will personally be offering guided tours. There are quite a few agendas I've prepared in advance that you can choose from, or I can tailor an official, patented Bueller Expedition for your personal preferences and tastes.

Whether you're a new arrival or if you just need a new perspective on your current prison-slash-dimension, a Bueller Expedition is just what you need for a memorable day out in the City.

Come on by. And if you have any questions, let me know?

Oh, and of course... if you yourself think you may be qualified to guide an adventure through the City, do let me know. I certainly hope that we'll need more than just me to run these things, eventually.

And everyone have a fantastic day.

[He beams one more time before cutting the feed.]